…but I’m barely breathing.
This has been my go to phrase for the last few weeks. Shout out to my amazing sister for writing a guest post on here in my absence. These last 4 weeks have been nuts. As soon as I finished up my first round of classes in Hattiesburg, I went home to Tuscaloosa/Birmingham. I packed up my house in Tuscaloosa and then spent the week in Birmingham helping my dad recover from knee replacement surgery. That Saturday (the 4th of July), I left for Oxford, Mississippi where I spent the next 7 days at Camp Hopewell’s camp for kids with Type 1 Diabetes. I had the absolute best time getting to be the “dietitian” for a cabin of six, 12-year-old boys. Everyone from the counselors to the nurses taught me so much during the week and I couldn’t have imagined a better experience.
After camp, I went back to Tuscaloosa for about 24 hours before heading back to Hattiesburg for two more weeks of class. Some would say, “Why didn’t you just go straight from camp in Oxford to Southern Miss in Hattiesburg?” The simplest answer…I’m an introvert. Needless to say, after 7 straight days of extroverting at camp, some alone time was needed. I was also unfortunately saying goodbye to David Jackson, a guy who has become one of the greatest friends I made during my undergrad years. He’s moving to Miami to mentor underprivileged kids. He’s amazing right?
Back in Hattiesburg, I spent the last week finishing up my class in clinical nutrition. This week may or may not have been one of the most stressful weeks of my entire life. But, I survived, and I will never have to do it again (fingers crossed). Which brings me to this current week, which is being spent finishing up my food service management class.
Writing this post right now made me realize that this is the first time in the last four weeks that I’ve had time to sit down and process all of my thoughts. This is the first time I’ve felt like I’ve been able to breathe. It’s also the first time that I’m not worried about what’s to come. I’ve spent the last few weeks beginning to wonder if I was really cut out to be a dietetic intern and ultimately a registered dietitian. But it didn’t take long for this wonder and this doubt to become full blown worry and anxiety. And after a couple of days wondering if I would actually make it, I realized how dumb I was. I realized that this worry and anxiety were nothing but lies from the enemy, and I had fallen for his trap. The bible tells us that the enemy is the father of lies (John 8:44), and he only comes to kill, steal, and destroy (John 10:10). And these ideas of “you’re not good enough” or “you’re not smart enough” were the lies that he was using to destroy me.
Once I confronted the enemy and the lies that he tried to make me believe, I turned to God. I asked him to replace this worry and anxiety, with a peace that only He can provide. Not a minute later I was scrolling through Pinterest and came across a pin that said, “10 verses for an anxious heart.” Perfect huh? And it was that pin that lead me to a verse in Philippians.
“Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.” Philippians 4:6-7 (MSG)
I love the way the Holy Spirit speaks exactly what I need to hear, exactly when I need to hear it. So now that I’m finally breathing again, here’s to moving to a new city next week, and then two weeks that will involve absolutely ZERO schoolwork!